When I see armor, I smell fear…

steel_heart

Tell me something….

Have you ever felt like your heart has been ripped out of your chest?

Has life ever completely let you down, thrown you under a bus, or stomped on your heart?

What did you do?

Did you walk away?

Did you armor up and swear you would never love like that again?

Did you wrap your owns arms around you and promise yourself that no one would ever hurt you like that again, not even life?

Did you swear to never let another in that close?

Did you curse life?

Did you guard your heart?

Do you hide behind a shield?

Do you raise your sword swiftly?

Does that make you feel safe?

Does being vulnerable scare the hell out of you?

Some cringe at the word ‘vulnerable’ or the idea of it. They see it as a sign of weakness. You know, “Don’t ever let them see you sweat.

Truth be told, we all sweat sometimes.

Why do we try to hide it?

It’s strange really because some people believe armoring up makes them appear strong, and yet I see this as weakness.

When I see armor, I smell fear.

Vulnerability is not weakness, it’s what makes us human. And we are all human aren’t we? Don’t we all know aspects of life that aren’t perfect? Why is that we can talk about the good stuff, but we hide the stuff that makes us vulnerable?

I see strength when I hear…

I don’t know if my marriage is going to last.

I wish I drank alcohol, but I’d probably be an alcoholic.

My father destroyed my childhood.

My daughter is addicted to heroin and I feel like a failure.

What if I don’t make it back from this tour alive?

I can never give him the child he wants.

My husband cheated on me and tore my world apart.

I’m scared of making the wrong choice.

My wife told me she’s not in love with me anymore.

I’m afraid I’ll fail.

I have cancer and I’m scared.

I don’t know how to keep going.

I wish I had a relationship with my daughter.

I can’t tell my parents I’m gay because I’m scared they would disown me.

When I hear vulnerability like this, I see strength.

Do you know why?

Because they are naked; completely vulnerable.

It takes strength and courage to let go of the armor, to drop the shield, and rest the sword, bearing one’s soul and all that makes them vulnerable.

It doesn’t take much to armor up – except maybe fear, mistrust, heartbreak, and some bitterness…

 

© LifeasChristine, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to LifeasChristine with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 

 

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